Comics Tagged : dumb things people do

Jenga For Beginners

Jenga For Beginners

Strip Info

Title
Jenga For Beginners
Date
August 15, 2021
Tags
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Notes

This comics was written by the criminally funny Opus Moreschi

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

A man stands hunched over a table, hand to his forehead, biting his lip in nervousness. On either side of him, his friends gather, shouting with anticipation. On the table in front of them is a single, rectangular block of wood, standing on it’s end like a tower. A very stable tower. The nervous man raises his hand to touch it. To the side, a box lies open with the label “Jenga For Beginners.”

The Kingdom That Almost Won

The Kingdom That Almost Won

Strip Info

Title
The Kingdom That Almost Won
Date
August 1, 2021
Tags
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Notes

This comic went crazy viral (go figure). Here’s my Twitter thread examining the spread.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Kingdumb – Day

A medieval knight points at a giant dragon lying on its back in a destroyed village. The knight beckons to nearby villagers.

Knight
Look! The dragon is almost slain! Let us arm ourselves and end its reign of terror!
Panel 2 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous

The nearby villagers look at their armor with skepticism.

Villager 1
Wait- What’s this armor made of?
Villager 2
The court jester says it makes you magnetic…

A third villager wears a helmet with visor hanging under his chin.

Villager 3
I can’t breathe in this helmet!
Panel 3 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous

The knight looks on in despair as the villagers continue.

Villager 1
Don’t push your pro-armor agenda on us!
Villager 2
The dragon hasn’t eaten anyone -I- know.
Villager 3
We should let the dragon eat us until it gets full.

Meanwhile, the dragon looms over the knight.

Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Night

In a modern-day child’s bedroom, a little boy in bed furrows his brow.

Little Boy
I don’t like this story. The people are dumb.

Sitting at the foot of his bed, his mother hunches over a storybook, head in hands.

Mom
-Sigh- I know.

The Cord Cutter’s Lament

The Cord Cutter’s Lament

Strip Info

Title
The Cord Cutter’s Lament
Date
May 9, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

Kevin stands, looking at his credit card bill. His bird sits on his shoulder.

Kevin
Man! All these streaming services really add up!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

His bird ponders.

Bird
Hmm… if only there was a single service that gave you hundreds of channels for one price…
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin starts to respond.

Kevin
…You mean like ca-
Bird
(interrupting)
LIKE CABLE.
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

His bird looks closer at his cable bill.

Bird
Also: You pay for Netflix? What a chump!

Kevin deadpans to camera.

Look With Your Eyes

Look With Your Eyes

Strip Info

Title
Look With Your Eyes
Date
January 30, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day

Toast stands in front of an open closet. Egg sits at the table across the room, working on a laptop.

Toast
Where are the light bulbs?
Egg
Middle shelf.
Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous

Toast looks confused.

Toast
Where? I don’t see them.
Egg
(stops working)
Next to the towels.
Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous

Toast doesn’t see them.

Toast
Where?
Egg
-Sigh-

Egg stands up and begins to walk across the room.

Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous

Just as Egg reaches Toast…

Toast
Oh! There they are!

Toast reaches for them. Egg just glowers at Toast.

Opening Up

Opening Up

Strip Info

Title
Opening Up
Date
July 16, 2020
Tags
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Notes

This is probably my most political comic to date. It blew up on Reddit. I think it even made it to the front page. People used the comments as a place to debate COVID-19 lockdown re-opening. The debate got so heated that the moderators of r/funny actually took it down.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Castle Courtyard – Day

A King addresses a crowd of his subjects from the top of a high wall.

King
My loyal subjects.. I’ve decided to reopen the castle!
Panel 2 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Continuous

From the crowd below, a lowly subject speaks up. Behind him is the main gate of the castle. On the other side of that, a green fog can be seen lingering right over the wall.

Subject
But Your Majesty! The Murder Fog is right outside the gates! We’ll be killed!
Panel 3 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Time

The king motions to a group of three younger people to his left. They look insufferable. Like mideval hipsters.

King
I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have no choice… Beck and her friends MUST BRUNCH!

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III

Strip Info

Title
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III
Date
January 22, 2020
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” A sign next to it says “Lamp $5 / Still works! / Red shade / 18″ Tall”. Craigslist Guy stands very far away.

Craigslist Guy
Hey! Is your lamp still available?
Kevin
Yup! It’s free!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy is happy.

Craigslist Guy
Great! I’ll take it!
Kevin
Great!
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy doesn’t move.

Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Finally, Craigslist Guy breaks the silence.

Craigslist Guy
Can you bring it to me?

Kevin deadpans to camera.

If I Was On “Hot Ones”

If I Was On “Hot Ones”

Strip Info

Title
If I Was On “Hot Ones”
Date
January 8, 2020
Tags
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Notes

Sean Evans liked this on Instagram.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Day

Close up on Kevin sitting at the Hot Ones table. His eyes pop out and his mouth pickers.

Panel 2 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Still close up. Kevin opens his mouth. Fire bursts out. His eyes pour water.

Panel 3 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Still close up. Kevin hunches over. Crying in pain. Tears streaming from his face.

Panel 4 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Now wider. We see Sean Evens sitting across from Kevin. A confused look on his face.

Sean Evans
Um… We haven’t started yet.
Kevin
I’m out!

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part II

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part II

Strip Info

Title
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part II
Date
September 4, 2019
Tags
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Notes

This comic blew the hell up on Reddit. Probably because it gave folks the chance to share their own Craigslist horror stories. Best part is, everyone thinks they’re smarter than the average Craigslist user. But they -are- the average Craigslist user. So figure that out.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” A sign next to it says “Lamp $5 / Still works! / Red shade / 18″ Tall”. Craigslist Guy walks up.

Craigslist Guy
Hey does your lamp still work?
Kevin (points to post)
Yup! All the info is in the post right here.
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy doesn’t get it.

Craigslist Guy
What color is it?
Kevin (points to post)
All the info is in the post right here.
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

No reaction from Craigslist Guy.

Kevin
…So just read the post right in front of you.
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy still doesn’t get it.

Craigslist Guy
How much?

Kevin deadpans to camera.

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part I

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part I

Strip Info

Title
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part I
Date
August 14, 2019
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” Craigslist Guy walks up.

Craigslist Guy
Hey is your lamp still available?
Kevin
Yup! Just $5!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Without a word, Craigslist Guy starts to literally fade away.

Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Going. Going…

Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Gone. Craigslist Guy has disappeared. Leaving Kevin alone, deadpanning to camera.

Advice From The Future

Advice From The Future

Strip Info

Title
Advice From The Future
Date
July 9, 2019
Tags
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Notes

Easter Egg: I actually made an Instagram account for Future Kevin. That’s how far I’ll go for a bit.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Room – Day

Present Kevin looks at his phone.

Present Kevin
Oh look – a new social network.

He starts to type a username: “fartybut..”

Present Kevin
Heheh.
Panel 2 : Int. Room – Continuous

A time portal opens and out steps Future Kevin. Future Kevin looks just like Present Kevin, except he has greying hair, a pudgy belly, and a beard.

Future Kevin
Stop!
Panel 3 : Int. Room – Continuous

Present Kevin is taken aback.

Present Kevin
Who are you?
Future Kevin
I’m you from the future!
Panel 4 : Int. Room – Continuous

Present Kevin looks incredulous.

Present Kevin
I grow a beard in the future?
Future Kevin
Yeah.
Present Kevin
Weird.
Panel 5 : Int. Room – Continuous

Future Kevin ignores him.

Future Kevin
Listen! Someday you’ll want to use that account for professional stuff.
Panel 6 : Int. Room – Continuous

Present Kevin looks down at his phone as Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
People won’t take you seriously with a dumb username. So don’t do it!
Panel 7 : Int. Room – Continuous

Present Kevin smiles as Future Kevin steps back into the time portal.

Present Kevin
OK I won’t. Thanks!
Future Kevin
Thank you!
Panel 8 : Int. Room – In The Future

Future Kevin looks down at his phone. His username is now “dumbbeard69.”

I’m. Dumb.

I’m. Dumb.

Strip Info

Title
I’m. Dumb.
Date
February 6, 2019
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kitchen – Evening

INSERT – A hand holds a microwave burrito box. It reads:
Microwave Instructions
1. Remove burrito from wrapper
2. Microwave on HIGH for 4-5 minutes
3. LET STAND FOR 2 MINUTES
CAUTION: CONTENTS HOT

Panel 2 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous

Holding said burrito box, Kevin stands in front of his microwave. It DINGS. Done.

Panel 3 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous

Kevin opens the microwave door. Flames shoot up from the burrito inside.

Panel 4 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous

Kevin picks up the molten burrito and is about to put it in his mouth.

Kevin
(thinking)
I’m sure it’s fine.