Comics Tagged : Kevin

Every. Job. Site.

Every. Job. Site.
Bonus Panel
Every. Job. Site.

Strip Info

Title
Every. Job. Site.
Date
February 13, 2024
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day

A website—personified with glasses, a moustache, and arms and hands—sits in a chair at a desk. Across its forehead is written EVERY JOB SITE. It beckons to someone off-camera.

Website
Just give me your resumé and I’ll auto-populate our application for you!
Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous

Wide shot revealing Kevin sitting on the other side of the desk. Wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and red tie, he hands his resume to the website.

Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous

The website adjusts its glasses, looking at Kevin’s resume.

Website
Ah! I see your last job was “Resumé” with a start date of “Baltimore” and an end date of “Microsoft Word”
Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous

Reverse on Kevin. He frowns and beckons the website to give him his paper back.

Kevin
-Sigh- Just let me do it.
Panel 5 : Int. Office – Moments Later

Kevin and the website still sitting at the desk.

Website
Isn’t this a Dilbert comic?
Kevin
No. I’m not a racist.

Just Trying To Make A Living

Just Trying To Make A Living
Bonus Panel
Just Trying To Make A Living

Strip Info

Title
Just Trying To Make A Living
Date
December 4, 2023
Tags
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Notes

Don’t tell Instagram, but I’ve started a Patreon. Patreon, if you don’t know, is a membership site where you can get access to exclusive bonus material from me for a small monthly fee. Tiers start at $2 a month and come with a bunch of cool stuff: including bonus comics; old, embarrassing comics from my archive; and a monthly, invite-only “Draw With Me” livestream. Join me!

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

A cartoon version of You, with all your wit, charm, and good looks, walks up to Kevin and waves.

You
Hi, Kevin! I really like your comics and cartoons!
Kevin
Gee thanks!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin motions to a nearby door. It’s a frosted glass door with a sign over it. Cut off by the panel border, the sign reads only “Patre”. Beyond the frosted glass door, we can kinda make out baloons and some type of flashy lighting. Looks like a real party.

Kevin
You know, I have some great bonus stuff over here if you’re interested.
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

You smile that winning smile everyone loves.

You
Oh cool! You’ve got a Patre-
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

From off-screen, Kevin interrupts you by shoving his hand in your face. His finger presses your lips, quieting you.

Kevin
Shhhh!
Panel 5 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin comes in close next to you, pressing his cheek into yours.

Kevin (whispering)
The Algorithm will hear you!
Bonus : Int. Void – Moments Later

The Algorithm, a towering, angry robot, appears behind You and Kevin. It extends its arms out in a menacing way. You and Kevin shrink in fear.

The Algorithm
Outside Link Detected!!
Kevin
Run!

A Very Accurate Halloween Costume

A Very Accurate Halloween Costume
Bonus Panel
A Very Accurate Halloween Costume

Strip Info

Title
A Very Accurate Halloween Costume
Date
October 30, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin sits at his desk, drawing on his Cintiq. Behind him, his bird stands on a pumpkin on a table. His bird is wearing a little black t-shirt, blue pants, and a sandy blonde wig, just like Kevin.

Bird
Look! I dressed up as you for Halloween!
Kevin
Oh god…
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s bird furrows his brow.

Bird (mocking)
“Hi. I’m Kevin. I’m a little bit grumpy all the time…”
Kevin
Please stop.
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird continues:

Bird (mocking)
“…I’d sure be a lot happier if I didn’t tie my self-worth to my productivity…”
Kevin (rolling eyes)
Yeah yeah. Very funny.
Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s bird starts to walk away.

Bird (mocking)
“Whelp! Off to make a comic with a mediocre punchline!”

Kevin swivels around in his chair.

Kevin
Oh fuck off!
Bonus Panel : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Later

Later, Kevin’s bird stands in front of an iPad, drawing something. He turns around to see Kevin standing behind him, wearing an ill-fitting green parrot suit — just like him.

Bird
Am I supposed to be offended? You look great!

The Tetris Effect

The Tetris Effect

Strip Info

Title
The Tetris Effect
Date
October 16, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin slouches on his couch, bags under his eyes, playing his Switch. Next to him, an empty bag of Doritos and a few empty beer bottles. His bird, perched above him, leans in.

Bird
Umm… are you okay?
Kevin
I read that playing Tetris helps distract your brain from anxious thoughts.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks concerned.

Bird
You’ve been playing for the last nine hours straight.
Kevin
Have you seen the news lately?
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks off into the distance, thinking, as Kevin goes back to his game.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin continues playing, his bird nestled under his arm. The bird lays its head on Kevin’s chest, watching him play.

The Best Streaming Service

The Best Streaming Service
Bonus Panel
The Best Streaming Service

Strip Info

Title
The Best Streaming Service
Date
October 2, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin walks through the front door of his apartment at night, taking off his jacket. His bird sits on a nearby table, playing jacks. The bird looks up at Kevin.

Bird
Hey! Where have you been?
Kevin
At the gas station, filling up my car.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin hangs up his jacket as his bird looks at him skeptically.

Bird
For three hours?
Kevin
Yeah. There was this amazing movie on Gas Station TV.
Panel 3 : Ext. Gas Station – Earlier

Kevin stands at the pump, staring at the tiny gas station TV, holding back tears. He holds the pump handle in his hand. The gas cap on his car is open. He hasn’t even started pumping gas yet. The sun is setting. A line of cars behind him HONK incessantly at him.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin shrugs.

Kevin
Scorsese? At the Exxon?!
Bird
These streaming wars are getting out of hand.
Panel 5 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

An attendant approaches Kevin at the pump.

Attendant
Sir? Are you crying?
Kevin (clearly crying)
No! It’s the gas fumes! Shut up!

Forced Career Change

Forced Career Change
Bonus Panel
Forced Career Change

Strip Info

Title
Forced Career Change
Date
September 25, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

An Instagram icon with arms and legs stands on a table. Kevin stands in front of it, presenting a comic.

Kevin
I’m a cartoonist! I make comics!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram snatches the comic from Kevin’s hands. Kevin looks surprised.

Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram rips up Kevin’s comic as Kevin’s eyes bug out.

Instagram
Now you make videos.
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram insists.

Instagram
Say it.
Kevin (defeated)
Now I make videos.

Stop Asking

Stop Asking
Bonus Panel
Stop Asking

Strip Info

Title
Stop Asking
Date
August 13, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Party – Day

At a party, a drunk frat guy walks up to Kevin.

Frat Guy
Hey! Cartoon Boy! Put me in one of your comics!
Kevin
Sorry, but no…
Panel 2 : Int. Party – Continuous

The frat guy presses.

Frat Guy
C’mon! I bet I’m funnier than your dumb characters.
Kevin
Oh, I’m sure you are.
Panel 3 : Int. Party – Continuous

Fed up, Kevin explains.

Kevin
Look, no offense, but stop asking cartoonists to be in their comics. It’s just not going to happen, okay?
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Zoom out to Kevin, sitting at his desk, drawing the comic we’ve just been reading. He lifts his pen from his monitor.

Kevin (realizing)
Wait. (beat) Shit.

Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Bonus Panel
Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Strip Info

Title
Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Date
August 6, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Day

Teenage Kevin looks surprised when Future Kevin appears out of a wormhole behind him.

In the year 1993…
Future Kevin
Hey Kevin! I’m YOU from the future! I’ve got great news!
Panel 2 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Thirty years from now, they’re going to make a great TMNT movie!
Teenage Kevin (O.S.)
Big deal. We’ve already had three TMNT movies.

Future Kevin holds up a poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes: Mutant Mayhem.

Panel 3 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Yeah, but this one will have a score by Trent Reznor!
Teenage Kevin (dismissive)
~OK cool~ Thanks for letting me know. Bye!

Teenage Kevin waves his future self away.

Panel 4 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin shrugs.

Future Kevin
I thought you’d be excited! What are you do–
Teenage Kevin (interrupting)
JUST GO!

We now can see that Teenage Kevin, hunched over, has hastily thrown a blanket over his groin.

Bonus Panel : Int. Future Kevin’s House – Later

Back in the future, Future Kevin stands in his living room, shivering in disgust. Nearby, his bird scoffs.

Bird
It’s your fault. You gotta knock, remember?

Catching Up

Catching Up
Bonus Panel
Catching Up

Strip Info

Title
Catching Up
Date
July 30, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day

Kevin, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and carrying luggage, stands in the doorway of his house. His bird greets him with raised wings.

Bird
Hey hey! Welcome back from vacation!
Kevin
Thanks! What did I miss?
Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s bird ponders.

Bird
Let’s see… He renamed it “X”, but he doesn’t own the trademark. So there probably a bunch of lawsuits coming. Also: he limited the number of tweets you can read without paying.
Panel 3 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s smile fades. His face ages as he listens to his bird go on.

Bird
Oh! And he started paying people to post, but you have to subscribe first – which kinda sounds like a pyramid scheme?
Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

Kevin turns around and walks away, dragging his luggage with him. His bird calls after him.

Bird
…and did I mention he wants us to use it as a banking app? BECAUSE HE WANTS US TO USE IT AS A BANKING APP!
Bonus Panel 1 : Ext. Beach – Later

Now at the beach at sunset, Kevin drags his luggage behind him as he walks into the ocean.

Bonus Panel 2 : Ext. Beach – Later

Kevin is gone under the water. All that’s left are his footsteps and the drag marks of his luggage.

A Shorts Story

A Shorts Story
Bonus Panel
A Shorts Story

Strip Info

Title
A Shorts Story
Date
July 2, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day

Kevin stands in his apartment, wearing teal shorts, revealing his skinny, pale legs. His bird, standing on a nearby table, leans over in interest.

Bird
What’s with the shorts? You never wear shorts
Kevin
I’m going to a BBQ and it’s too hot out for pants.
Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

The bird continues.

Bird
Wow. You’re wearing them in public? But people will see your bare legs!
Kevin
I know. But I’m sure no one will notice.
Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Later

Kevin is at the BBQ. Some jerk yells to the crowd.

Some Jerk
Hey everyone! The chicken legs we ordered are here!
Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later

After the party, Kevin is back home.

Bird
Sooo… how’d it go?
Kevin
Never again.

Kevin sets his shorts on fire with a lighter.

Touch Grass

Touch Grass
Bonus Panel
Touch Grass

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Park – Afternoon

Kevin lies in the grass of a field on a sunny summer day. Eyes closed. Hands behind his head. Smiling.

Kevin
Aaaaah. There’s nothing like a lazy summer afternoon…
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Closer on Kevin’s face as a strange shadow creeps over him. He opens one eye to see:

Panel 3 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Kevin’s POV: The Grustle Monster standing over him, blocking out the sun. Furrowed brow. Frowning.

Panel 4 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Wider to reveal The Grustle Monster looming over Kevin in a menacing way.

Kevin
Damnit I’m allowed to rest!
Panel 5 : Ext. Park – Later

Later, two passersby notice Kevin sitting on the grass, his full, two-monitor desktop set up in the grass in front of him.

Passerby 1
Did that guy bring his desktop to the park?

At a Loss

At a Loss

Strip Info

Title
At a Loss
Date
April 30, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Day

Kevin walks into the lobby of BuzzFeed. Headphones in, backpack on, lanyard clipped to his pants pocket. He looks non-challant.

Panel 2 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Moments Later

Kevin stops at the receptionist’s desk. The receptionist points off-panel. Kevin takes his headphone out of his ear and raises his eyebrows to listen to what the receptionist is saying.

Panel 3 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Later

Kevin stands in a nearby hallway. A sad look on his face. He hands over a yellow BuzzFeed “LOL” icon to a person with a BuzzFeed logo for a face. The literal personification of the company, if you will.

Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later

Later, at home, Kevin lies on his side on his couch. Under a blanket, he stares off into the distance. Over him, on the top edge of the couch, his bird perches, extending a wing in an awkward, concerned gesture.