Comics Tagged : couch

Grustle Hours

Grustle Hours
Bonus Panel
Grustle Hours

Strip Info

Title
Grustle Hours
Date
July 14, 2024
Tags
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Notes

I think about time a lot. Like a whole lot. There’s so much I want to do in my lifetime. So I worry that, unless I make the most of every minute, I won’t get to everything. This anxiety has made me very susceptible to productivity and hustle culture. The Grustle Monster is, obviously, the embodiment of my anxiety. I have conversations like this with him every day.

But lately, my relationship to time and achievement has been changing. Part of that has been due to several big personal events in the last year. Part of it is due to reading the book 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. Now I’m trying to think about time as this beautiful, limited resource of unknown quantity. This lovely video from my old boss Ze Frank sums it up nicely.

So do you have a Grustle Monster in your head? How do you deal with him?

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin lays on his couch, looking at his phone. Behind him, The Grustle Monster stands with his arms crossed.

Grustle Monster
Eight hours for sleep. Eight hours for work. Two hours for meals. One hour for exercise.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

The Grustle Monster continues.

Grustle Monster
That leaves five hours per day for your side-hustle. You say you don’t have time, but it’s your discipline that’s lacking.
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Annoyed, Kevin retorts.

Kevin
You forgot: two hours for commute, three hours for family, two hours for bathing and chores…
Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

The Grustle Monster does the math.

Grustle Monster
That’s twenty-seven hours per day.
Kevin
So piss off.
Bonus Panel : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Moments Later

Kevin, still on his couch, still looking at his phone.

Grustle Monster
Where does ‘Scrolling Social Media for Two Hours” fit?
Kevin
SELF CARE!

The Tetris Effect

The Tetris Effect

Strip Info

Title
The Tetris Effect
Date
October 16, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin slouches on his couch, bags under his eyes, playing his Switch. Next to him, an empty bag of Doritos and a few empty beer bottles. His bird, perched above him, leans in.

Bird
Umm… are you okay?
Kevin
I read that playing Tetris helps distract your brain from anxious thoughts.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks concerned.

Bird
You’ve been playing for the last nine hours straight.
Kevin
Have you seen the news lately?
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks off into the distance, thinking, as Kevin goes back to his game.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin continues playing, his bird nestled under his arm. The bird lays its head on Kevin’s chest, watching him play.

Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Bonus Panel
Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Strip Info

Title
Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Date
August 6, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Day

Teenage Kevin looks surprised when Future Kevin appears out of a wormhole behind him.

In the year 1993…
Future Kevin
Hey Kevin! I’m YOU from the future! I’ve got great news!
Panel 2 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Thirty years from now, they’re going to make a great TMNT movie!
Teenage Kevin (O.S.)
Big deal. We’ve already had three TMNT movies.

Future Kevin holds up a poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes: Mutant Mayhem.

Panel 3 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Yeah, but this one will have a score by Trent Reznor!
Teenage Kevin (dismissive)
~OK cool~ Thanks for letting me know. Bye!

Teenage Kevin waves his future self away.

Panel 4 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin shrugs.

Future Kevin
I thought you’d be excited! What are you do–
Teenage Kevin (interrupting)
JUST GO!

We now can see that Teenage Kevin, hunched over, has hastily thrown a blanket over his groin.

Bonus Panel : Int. Future Kevin’s House – Later

Back in the future, Future Kevin stands in his living room, shivering in disgust. Nearby, his bird scoffs.

Bird
It’s your fault. You gotta knock, remember?

At a Loss

At a Loss

Strip Info

Title
At a Loss
Date
April 30, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Day

Kevin walks into the lobby of BuzzFeed. Headphones in, backpack on, lanyard clipped to his pants pocket. He looks non-challant.

Panel 2 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Moments Later

Kevin stops at the receptionist’s desk. The receptionist points off-panel. Kevin takes his headphone out of his ear and raises his eyebrows to listen to what the receptionist is saying.

Panel 3 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Later

Kevin stands in a nearby hallway. A sad look on his face. He hands over a yellow BuzzFeed “LOL” icon to a person with a BuzzFeed logo for a face. The literal personification of the company, if you will.

Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later

Later, at home, Kevin lies on his side on his couch. Under a blanket, he stares off into the distance. Over him, on the top edge of the couch, his bird perches, extending a wing in an awkward, concerned gesture.

The Side-Hustle Shuffle

The Side-Hustle Shuffle

Strip Info

Title
The Side-Hustle Shuffle
Date
February 26, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day

Kevin sits on his couch, smiling, knitting a little scarf.

Kevin
What a relaxing new hobby I’ve found!

Behind him, The Grustle Monster rears up.

Grustle Monster
TURN IT INTO A SIDE HUSTLE!
Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

Shocked, Kevin turns around to address The Grustle Monster.

Kevin
C-can’t I just enjoy it?
Grustle Monster
NO! MAKE YOUR PASSION YOUR PASSIVE INCOME!
Panel 3 : Int. Apartment – Continuous

Kevin begins to interject, but The Grustle Monster yells in his face.

Kevin
But-
Grustle Monster
MONETIZE YOUR FREE TIME!
Panel 4 : Int. Craft Fair – Continuous

Kevin sits, cross-armed and scowling, behind a table at a craft fair. On the table, several of his knitted scarves are displayed. A sign above the table reads “Kevin’s Stupid Scarves. $20 or whatever.”

The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy

The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy

Strip Info

Title
The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy
Date
September 11, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

The Grustle Monster sits, arms folded, next to Kevin, gaming, on the couch.

Grustle Monster
GAMING IS A WASTE OF TIME.
Kevin
-Sigh- C’mon, man. Please just let me relax.
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The Grustle Monster continues.

Grustle Monster
RELAXING DOESN’T GET YOU CLOSER TO YOUR GOALS.
Kevin
Fine. What if my goal is to become an esports pro?
Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin continues.

Kevin
Suddenly, this isn’t wasted time, but the dedicated practice of a future prodigy.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The Grustle Monster retorts.

Grustle Monster
YOU’VE BEEN STUCK ON THE TUTORIAL LEVEL FOR WEEKS!
Kevin
IT’S HARD!

The Procrastination Game

The Procrastination Game

Strip Info

Title
The Procrastination Game
Date
May 8, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.

Kevin
Ugh. This game sucks.
Bird
Then why not play a game you like?
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin replies.

Kevin
Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird ponders.

Bird
So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
Kevin
Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird looks concerned.

Bird
Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
Kevin
My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”

The Sensible Detective

The Sensible Detective

Strip Info

Title
The Sensible Detective
Date
April 17, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Fun fact: this is actually a redraw of a comic I first drew over 10 years ago. The original was part of an earlier version of my comics website called Funny Comics For Cool People. I produced about a dozen comics for it, but never actually launched the site. I always liked this idea, though. So I thought I’d take another swing at it.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Station – Day

A grizzled cop sips from a mug. Scowling.

Caption
Tuesdays at 8! He’s a homicide cop with no major vices…
Cop
Got drunk once. Didn’t enjoy it.
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

The cop and wife give piggybacks to each of their two kids. Everyone smiles except the cop.

Caption
…no personal trauma…
Cop
All loved ones alive and well.
Panel 3 : Ext. Street – Night

The cop kneels at a crime scene near a corpse, covered in a bloody sheet. The cop looks at his watch.

Caption
…And healthy professional boundaries. He’s The Sensible Detective.
Cop
5p.m.- Quittin’ time.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. They both furrow their brows.

Kevin
Well that’s no fun.
Bird
I prefer my protagonists damaged.

Your Precious Spare Time

Your Precious Spare Time

Strip Info

Title
Your Precious Spare Time
Date
November 7, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin slouches on the couch, watching TV, scowling. The bird sits on his head.

Kevin
Ugh. This movie is awful.
Bird
Then why are you watching it?
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin continues

Kevin
Because everyone’s talking about it and I don’t want to be left out of the conversation.
Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The bird looks quizzical.

Bird
Why are you letting peer pressure decide how you spend your precious spare time? Why not do what you want?
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin leaves the room, looking sheepish, pulling the door closed behind him.

Bird
Oh gross!

We see Kevin is holding a box of tissues in his hand.

Blue’s Clues Blues

Blue’s Clues Blues

Strip Info

Title
Blue’s Clues Blues
Date
September 19, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Kevin’s Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin’s POV: Steve from Blues Clues speaks in a clip from that recent video.

Steve
And then you at you! And look at all you’ve accomplished!
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Living Room – Continuous

Up angle on Kevin, who is watching the clip on his phone, derpy look on his face. The bird watches over his shoulder.

Steve (OS)
And it’s just… it’s just so amazing, right?
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Living Room – Continuous

Wide angle of Kevin’s shitty bachelor apartment. Laundry on the floor. Dirty plates and trash strewn about. Unopened mail. Framed Quentin Tarantino movie posters on the wall. And that one torch lamp every dude had in the early 00s. Kevin sits slumped on the couch, in his boxers and socks, watching the video on his phone.

Bird
He’s not talking to you.
Kevin
I figured.

After You

After You

Strip Info

Title
After You
Date
September 12, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day

Kevin sits on his couch. His bird perched on his hand.

Kevin
Have you ever eaten a worm?
Bird
No. I’m an indoor bird.
Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous

The bird hops to Kevin’s shoulder.

Bird
Have you?
Kevin
Nope.
Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin continues.

Kevin
D-do you want to?
Bird
Do you?
Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin shrugs.

Kevin
I mean…
Bird
…Cuz it sounds like you do.
Panel 4 : Int. Home – Moments Later

Kevin and the bird face off on opposite sides of a plate with an earthworm on it. Kevin raises his eyebrows.

Bird
(skeptical)
O.K. What’s… what’s going on here?

The 2 Types of Self-Quarantine

The 2 Types of Self-Quarantine

Strip Info

Title
The 2 Types of Self-Quarantine
Date
March 15, 2020
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Evening

Kevin slumps on the couch, playing a video game. His eyes sleepy. His hair disheveled. He hasn’t shaved. Empty delivery container, dirty laundry, and trash are strewn everywhere. He’s wearing sweatpants and only one sock – that has a hole in it.

Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Alternate Timeline

Kevin sits perfectly erect on the same couch in a bright orange hazmat suit. His living room is sparkling clean. His face is frozen in a wide, toothy smile of anxiety. Sweat beads on his brow. On the endtable sits a single glass of red wine. He’ll never drink it.