Comics Tagged : pop culture

Why I’m Not On Stranger Things

Why I’m Not On Stranger Things

Strip Info

Title
Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
Date
July 10, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Kate Bush it is not

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Hawkins Graveyard – Day

An Overhead shot of Kevin, floating several feet in mid-air. Wearing headphones, his eyes roll back in a dumbfounded expression. On the ground, Dustin and Lucas from Stranger Things freak out.

Dustin
Oh no! Kevin’s under Vecna’s curse!
Lucas
Quick! Play his favorite song!
Panel 2 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous

Kevin is bound up by tentacles in Vecna’s Lair. Everything has a red tint. Vecna stands opposite him, poised with his claw hand. Yet they both pause to and look skyward as a song begin playing.

Singer
Shake your love! I just can’t shake your love! Shake your love! I just can’t shake… your love!
Panel 3 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous

Embarrassed, Kevin blushes and grins. Vecna lowers his claw. A look of disbelief and judgement on his face.

Vecna
Debbie Gibson?
Kevin
Please don’t tell anyone.

Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together

Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together

Strip Info

Title
Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together
Date
May 22, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Television Studio – Day

A game show contestant stands at a podium, cheering with excitement. His nametag reads “Mark.” Next to him stands Drew Carey, who speaks into his signature skinny microphone.

Drew Carey
Actual retail price is twenty-two thousand dollars…
Panel 2 : Int. Television Studio – Continuous

In the adjacent showroom, a spokesmodel stands smiling next to a large powerboat on a trailer.

Drew Carey (O.S.)
…which means Mark will take home this brand new boat…
Panel 3 : Int. Television Studio – Continous

Closer on the boat and spokesmodel, who now holds a large kitchen knife to the bow of the boat.

Drew Carey (O.S.)
…if he can correctly guess IS IT CAKE?
Panel 4 : Int. Studio Executive’s Office – Continous

An executive sits opposite Kevin.

Executive
This is the dumbest pitch I’ve ever heard.

Kevin leans in.

Kevin
Or the greatest?

Next to Kevin is a poster on an easel that reads, “The Price is Cake!”

The Sensible Detective

The Sensible Detective

Strip Info

Title
The Sensible Detective
Date
April 17, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Fun fact: this is actually a redraw of a comic I first drew over 10 years ago. The original was part of an earlier version of my comics website called Funny Comics For Cool People. I produced about a dozen comics for it, but never actually launched the site. I always liked this idea, though. So I thought I’d take another swing at it.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Station – Day

A grizzled cop sips from a mug. Scowling.

Caption
Tuesdays at 8! He’s a homicide cop with no major vices…
Cop
Got drunk once. Didn’t enjoy it.
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

The cop and wife give piggybacks to each of their two kids. Everyone smiles except the cop.

Caption
…no personal trauma…
Cop
All loved ones alive and well.
Panel 3 : Ext. Street – Night

The cop kneels at a crime scene near a corpse, covered in a bloody sheet. The cop looks at his watch.

Caption
…And healthy professional boundaries. He’s The Sensible Detective.
Cop
5p.m.- Quittin’ time.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. They both furrow their brows.

Kevin
Well that’s no fun.
Bird
I prefer my protagonists damaged.

The Breakthrough

The Breakthrough

Strip Info

Title
The Breakthrough
Date
February 20, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Night

Batman holds up a thug by his collar on a Gotham rooftop.

Thug
What are you?
Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Continuous

Batman growls.

Batman
I’m the victim of childhood trauma processing his emotions in an unhealthy way!
Panel 4 : Int. Therapist’s Office – Later

Batman, in full costume, lays scowling on the couch of his therapist. Sitting nearby, the therapist writes in his notepad with a patient smile.

Therapist
Excellent, Bruce! We’re making real progress here.

That Anakin / Padme Meme

That Anakin / Padme Meme

Strip Info

Title
That Anakin / Padme Meme
Date
June 20, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Field – Day

Kevin sits in a field of tall grass, dressed like Anakin Skywalker from that one meme.

Kevin
I’m going to make a drawing of you.
Panel 2 : Ext. Field – Continuous

Padme smiles.

Padme
It’s not going to look like you, right?
Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Continuous

Kevin deadpans.

Panel 4 : Ext. Field – Continuous

Padme’s face now looks like Kevin’s.

Padme
(alarmed)
It’s not going to look like you, right?

The Origin of Hip-Hop

The Origin of Hip-Hop

Strip Info

Title
The Origin of Hip-Hop
Date
April 18, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Recording Booth – Day
Rapper’s Delight Recording Session, 1979

The 3 members of The Sugarhill Gang: Master Gee, Big Bank Hank, and Wonder Mike, crowd around a microphone.

Master Gee
My verse is about how the ladies love me.
Panel 2 : Int. Recording Booth – Continuous

Big Bank Hank speaks.

Big Bank Hank
My verse is also about how the ladies love me.
Panel 3 : Int. Recording Booth – Continuous

Now Wonder Mike.

Wonder Mike
My verse is about an awkward dinner party!
Panel 4 : Int. Recording Booth – Continuous

The guys look skeptical as Wonder Mike tries to sell his idea with a big grin.

How to Beat The Queen’s Gambit

How to Beat The Queen’s Gambit

Strip Info

Title
How to Beat The Queen’s Gambit
Date
February 28, 2021
Tags
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Notes

This comic made Chess Reddit very mad. Apparently I didn’t draw the chess board correctly and her opening move in the first panel is bullshit. There were even folks who couldn’t get over the fact that I only have four fingers here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Day

CLOSE up on Beth Harmon’s hand at a chess tournament as she advances her first piece, a pawn, someplace that got Chess Reddit very mad at me.

Panel 2 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Continuous

CLOSE on a confused Beth’s face as her opponent extends his hand in surrender.

Panel 3 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Continuous

WIDER to reveal Kevin is her opponent.

Beth Harmon
That was my first move.
Kevin
I don’t know how to play chess.

If I Was On “Hot Ones”

If I Was On “Hot Ones”

Strip Info

Title
If I Was On “Hot Ones”
Date
January 8, 2020
Tags
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Notes

Sean Evans liked this on Instagram.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Day

Close up on Kevin sitting at the Hot Ones table. His eyes pop out and his mouth pickers.

Panel 2 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Still close up. Kevin opens his mouth. Fire bursts out. His eyes pour water.

Panel 3 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Still close up. Kevin hunches over. Crying in pain. Tears streaming from his face.

Panel 4 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous

Now wider. We see Sean Evens sitting across from Kevin. A confused look on his face.

Sean Evans
Um… We haven’t started yet.
Kevin
I’m out!

Sliding Doors

Sliding Doors

Strip Info

Title
Sliding Doors
Date
November 16, 2018
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Wal-Maht – Day

Kevin steps up to the sliding glass doors of a Wal-Maht.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved automatic sliding doors.
Panel 2 : Ext. Wal-Maht – Continuous

Extreme close-up on Kevin’s eyes.

I still pretend I’m opening them with my mind.
Panel 3 : Ext. Tatooine – Dusk

[Fantasy] Kevin, dressed in Jedi garb, waves his hand to open the sliding glass doors.

…like a Jedi
Panel 4 : Int. Wal-Maht – Continuous

Kevin strides confidently past a Greeter.

Greeter
Welcome to Wal-
Kevin
(interrupting)
To the sock section, my Padawan!

When You Can’t Take A Compliment

When You Can’t Take A Compliment

Strip Info

Title
When You Can’t Take A Compliment
Date
October 15, 2018
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Jersey Home – Evening

Bradley Cooper leans out from the window of his black SUV.

Bradley Cooper
Hey…
Panel 2 : Ext. Jersey Home – Continuous

Near the front gate, Kevin turns around. Interest peaked.

Panel 3 : Ext. Jersey Home – Continuous

Cooper’s eyes twinkle.

Bradley Cooper
I just wanted to take another look at you.
Panel 4 : Ext. Jersey Home – Continuous

Kevin’s face contorts into the worst “pretty ugly” smile imaginable.

The Hogwarts Sorting Hat Is A Jerk

The Hogwarts Sorting Hat Is A Jerk

Strip Info

Title
The Hogwarts Sorting Hat Is A Jerk
Date
August 31, 2018
Tags
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Notes

This comic is a perennial favorite. Every couple of months, a Harry Potter themed Instagram account will post it. Then all the others will too. People love the Harry Potter, what can I say?

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Hogwarts – Night

A new Hogwarts student smiles as the Sorting Hat proclaims his house.

Sorting Hat
Gryffindor!
Panel 2 : Int. Hogwarts – Moments Later

Same thing. But with a different student.

Sorting Hat
Hufflepuff!
Panel 3 : Int. Hogwarts – Moments Later

Same thing. Only this time with Kevin.

Sorting Hat
Only saw the movies! Never read the books!
Panel 4 : Ext. Hogwarts – Moments Later

Surrounded by new students, Dumbledore banishes Kevin from Hogwarts. Kevin, shoulders slumped, walks away.