One More Thing To Worry About

One More Thing To Worry About

Strip Info

Title
One More Thing To Worry About
Date
May 15, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Dining Room – Day

Close up on Kevin’s hand, holding his phone. On the screen, a FaceTime call with his Mother. Her camera looks up her nose in a very unflattering angle.

Mother
…And have you heard about this black hole? It’s 4 million times larger than our sun! It’s going to swallow us up!
Panel 2 : Int. Dining Room – Continuous

Kevin sits at a table, holding up his phone. His bird pearches on his shoulder. A bowl of fruit on the table nearby. Kevin smiles.

Kevin
Oh, Mom! I don’t think we have to worry about that for a long time.
Mother
If you say so…
Panel 3 : Int. Dining Room – Continous

Kevin waves goodbye.

Kevin
O.K. Gotta go. Love you.
Mother
Love you too.
Panel 4 : Int. Dining Room – Continous

Kevin and his bird panic, knocking over the bowl of fruit.

Bird
What the hell are we gonna do about this black hole?!?
Kevin
I DUNNO, MAN! I’M FREAKIN’ OUT!

The Procrastination Game

The Procrastination Game

Strip Info

Title
The Procrastination Game
Date
May 8, 2022
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.

Kevin
Ugh. This game sucks.
Bird
Then why not play a game you like?
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin replies.

Kevin
Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird ponders.

Bird
So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
Kevin
Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird looks concerned.

Bird
Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
Kevin
My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”
Kevin hunched over his laptop

Zoom Out

Zoom Out

Strip Info

Title
Zoom Out
Date
April 24, 2022
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Field – Night

Kevin lays in a field of grass at night, looking up at the stars. His bird lies on it’s back on his chest, also looking up.

Kevin
Ever zoom out and realize how insignificant we are?
Panel 2 : Ext. Field – Continuous

The bird replies.

Bird
I dunno. You’re pretty significant to me.
Kevin
Aww! Thanks! That’s sweet.
Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Continuous

Kevin and the bird lie in quiet for a beat.

Panel 4 : Ext. Field – Continuous

Same.

Bird
Don’t get me wrong: as soon as I figure out how to open bags of birdseed myself, you’re dead to me.

The Sensible Detective

The Sensible Detective

Strip Info

Title
The Sensible Detective
Date
April 17, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Fun fact: this is actually a redraw of a comic I first drew over 10 years ago. The original was part of an earlier version of my comics website called Funny Comics For Cool People. I produced about a dozen comics for it, but never actually launched the site. I always liked this idea, though. So I thought I’d take another swing at it.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Station – Day

A grizzled cop sips from a mug. Scowling.

Caption
Tuesdays at 8! He’s a homicide cop with no major vices…
Cop
Got drunk once. Didn’t enjoy it.
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

The cop and wife give piggybacks to each of their two kids. Everyone smiles except the cop.

Caption
…no personal trauma…
Cop
All loved ones alive and well.
Panel 3 : Ext. Street – Night

The cop kneels at a crime scene near a corpse, covered in a bloody sheet. The cop looks at his watch.

Caption
…And healthy professional boundaries. He’s The Sensible Detective.
Cop
5p.m.- Quittin’ time.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. They both furrow their brows.

Kevin
Well that’s no fun.
Bird
I prefer my protagonists damaged.

What’s In Your Wallet?

What’s In Your Wallet?

Strip Info

Title
What’s In Your Wallet?
Date
April 3, 2022
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day

Kevin and his orc guide walk through a Metaverse landscape.

Kevin
So how do I get a sweet metaverse avatar like yours?
Orc
You have to pay for it.
Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

Still walking.

Kevin
With real money?
Orc
With crypto!
Kevin
So… not real money?
Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous

The orc stops. Kevin stands behind him

Orc
Kinda. It’a a digital curency. Here: let’s set up a wallet for you.

The orc reaches towards a glowing Bitcoin wallet icon.

Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

In the real world, Kevin stands in his living room, looking confused in a VR headset. His bird perches on his arm.

Bird
How’s it going in there?
Kevin
I think I’m about to get swindled.

Welcome to The Metaverse!

Welcome to The Metaverse!

Strip Info

Title
Welcome to The Metaverse!
Date
March 27, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day

Kevin stands in a digital void next to a giant orc.

Orc
Welcome to The Metaverse! Here, you can be anyone you want!
Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

The orc continues.

Orc
Look at me! I’m an accountant irl. But here, I’m an orc warrior! No judgement!
Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous

The orc continues.

Orc
Go ahead! Be who you’ve always wanted to be!

Kevin closes his eyes and starts to glow.

Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

Kevin’s shirt changes from black to light pink. “Plip!” He smiles.

Panel 5 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

The orc looks on, skeptically.

Orc
Yeeeah… Salmon’s not your color.

Kevin deflates.

Kustody Kitchen!

Kustody Kitchen!

Strip Info

Title
Kustody Kitchen!
Date
March 20, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. TV Studio – Day

Two parents stare each other down, holding up plates of pasta.

Caption
Thursday at 8! Two newly-divorced parents face off to see who can make the most delicious meal…
Panel 2 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous

A smiling boy, wearing a blindfold, tries the pasta as the parents look on.

Caption
…for the most important judges of all… their kids!
Panel 3 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous

The Mom stands smiling with her son. A winning ribbon pinned to her chest. In the background, security pulls the father away. The Dad reaches out and yells in desperation.

Caption
…and whoever loses, gives up visitation rights FOREVER! It’s Kustody Kitchen!
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. His eyes wide in shock.

Kevin
Holy shit.
Bird
Right? I love this show.

Keyboard Generals

Keyboard Generals

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. The Situation Room – Day

A stressed US President hunches over a large conference table in The Situation Room. Seated around the table are military generals, advisers, and policy leaders. On the table are laptops and papers with sensitive military information. The President motions to a round, bald-headed man wearing wraparound sunglasses and a Bored Ape Yacht Club t-shirt standing beside him. The guy throws up the devil horns sign.

“Gentlemen, this is a very precarious international situation, Which is why I brought in @callofdoody69 for his expert opinion.”

The Breakthrough

The Breakthrough

Strip Info

Title
The Breakthrough
Date
February 20, 2022
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Night

Batman holds up a thug by his collar on a Gotham rooftop.

Thug
What are you?
Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Continuous

Batman growls.

Batman
I’m the victim of childhood trauma processing his emotions in an unhealthy way!
Panel 4 : Int. Therapist’s Office – Later

Batman, in full costume, lays scowling on the couch of his therapist. Sitting nearby, the therapist writes in his notepad with a patient smile.

Therapist
Excellent, Bruce! We’re making real progress here.

Switch It Up!

Switch It Up!

Strip Info

Title
Switch It Up!
Date
February 13, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day

Kevin sits at his desk drawing, head resting on his Cintiq. Perched on the top of the Cintiq, the bird looks on.

Kevin
-Uuugh!- My comic strip is just a rehash of Garfield. I’m a hack!
Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous

The bird responds.

Bird
Sure, the whole ‘Cartoonist/Pet” setup is the same, but it’s the details that make it different.
Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous

The bird continues.

Bird
For example, an original art style can make it more unique. Try switching it up!
Panel 4 : Ext. Forest – Continuous

Kevin and the bird appear drawn in the style of Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes.

Kevin
Like this?
Bird
Perfect.