Comics Tagged : capitalism

Grustle Hours

Grustle Hours
Bonus Panel
Grustle Hours

Strip Info

Title
Grustle Hours
Date
July 14, 2024
Tags
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Notes

I think about time a lot. Like a whole lot. There’s so much I want to do in my lifetime. So I worry that, unless I make the most of every minute, I won’t get to everything. This anxiety has made me very susceptible to productivity and hustle culture. The Grustle Monster is, obviously, the embodiment of my anxiety. I have conversations like this with him every day.

But lately, my relationship to time and achievement has been changing. Part of that has been due to several big personal events in the last year. Part of it is due to reading the book 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. Now I’m trying to think about time as this beautiful, limited resource of unknown quantity. This lovely video from my old boss Ze Frank sums it up nicely.

So do you have a Grustle Monster in your head? How do you deal with him?

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin lays on his couch, looking at his phone. Behind him, The Grustle Monster stands with his arms crossed.

Grustle Monster
Eight hours for sleep. Eight hours for work. Two hours for meals. One hour for exercise.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

The Grustle Monster continues.

Grustle Monster
That leaves five hours per day for your side-hustle. You say you don’t have time, but it’s your discipline that’s lacking.
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Annoyed, Kevin retorts.

Kevin
You forgot: two hours for commute, three hours for family, two hours for bathing and chores…
Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

The Grustle Monster does the math.

Grustle Monster
That’s twenty-seven hours per day.
Kevin
So piss off.
Bonus Panel : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Moments Later

Kevin, still on his couch, still looking at his phone.

Grustle Monster
Where does ‘Scrolling Social Media for Two Hours” fit?
Kevin
SELF CARE!

Just Trying To Make A Living

Just Trying To Make A Living
Bonus Panel
Just Trying To Make A Living

Strip Info

Title
Just Trying To Make A Living
Date
December 4, 2023
Tags
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Notes

Don’t tell Instagram, but I’ve started a Patreon. Patreon, if you don’t know, is a membership site where you can get access to exclusive bonus material from me for a small monthly fee. Tiers start at $2 a month and come with a bunch of cool stuff: including bonus comics; old, embarrassing comics from my archive; and a monthly, invite-only “Draw With Me” livestream. Join me!

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

A cartoon version of You, with all your wit, charm, and good looks, walks up to Kevin and waves.

You
Hi, Kevin! I really like your comics and cartoons!
Kevin
Gee thanks!
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin motions to a nearby door. It’s a frosted glass door with a sign over it. Cut off by the panel border, the sign reads only “Patre”. Beyond the frosted glass door, we can kinda make out baloons and some type of flashy lighting. Looks like a real party.

Kevin
You know, I have some great bonus stuff over here if you’re interested.
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

You smile that winning smile everyone loves.

You
Oh cool! You’ve got a Patre-
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

From off-screen, Kevin interrupts you by shoving his hand in your face. His finger presses your lips, quieting you.

Kevin
Shhhh!
Panel 5 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin comes in close next to you, pressing his cheek into yours.

Kevin (whispering)
The Algorithm will hear you!
Bonus : Int. Void – Moments Later

The Algorithm, a towering, angry robot, appears behind You and Kevin. It extends its arms out in a menacing way. You and Kevin shrink in fear.

The Algorithm
Outside Link Detected!!
Kevin
Run!

Touch Grass

Touch Grass
Bonus Panel
Touch Grass

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Park – Afternoon

Kevin lies in the grass of a field on a sunny summer day. Eyes closed. Hands behind his head. Smiling.

Kevin
Aaaaah. There’s nothing like a lazy summer afternoon…
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Closer on Kevin’s face as a strange shadow creeps over him. He opens one eye to see:

Panel 3 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Kevin’s POV: The Grustle Monster standing over him, blocking out the sun. Furrowed brow. Frowning.

Panel 4 : Ext. Park – Continuous

Wider to reveal The Grustle Monster looming over Kevin in a menacing way.

Kevin
Damnit I’m allowed to rest!
Panel 5 : Ext. Park – Later

Later, two passersby notice Kevin sitting on the grass, his full, two-monitor desktop set up in the grass in front of him.

Passerby 1
Did that guy bring his desktop to the park?

The Future of Entertainment

The Future of Entertainment

Strip Info

Title
The Future of Entertainment
Date
June 18, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. VR Headset – Day

From a user’s POV inside a VR headset, a cute robot character floats into view.

Genie
Hi! I’m Genie, your A.I.-powered entertainment bot! What do you want to watch today?
User (O.S.)
I wanna watch a movie where Spider-Man fights Batman at Wrestlemania!
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The user sits in his recliner, a beer in his hand

Genie (O.S.)
Sorry. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
User
Why not? I thought A.I. can create whatever I want.
Panel 3 : Int. VR Headset – Continuous

In the headset, Genie explains.

Genie
Well, see… Spider-Man is owned by Disney, Batman is owned by Warner Bros, and Wrestlemania is WWE. To combine them legally, I would need a licensing agreement between all three companies that allows for… (trailing off)
Panel 4 : Ext. Street – Later

Later, on the side of the road, two sanitation workers empty trash cans into a garbage truck. One worker holds up something he fished out of a can.

Sanitation Worker
Hey look! Another pair a’them expensive goggles!

At a Loss

At a Loss

Strip Info

Title
At a Loss
Date
April 30, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Day

Kevin walks into the lobby of BuzzFeed. Headphones in, backpack on, lanyard clipped to his pants pocket. He looks non-challant.

Panel 2 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Moments Later

Kevin stops at the receptionist’s desk. The receptionist points off-panel. Kevin takes his headphone out of his ear and raises his eyebrows to listen to what the receptionist is saying.

Panel 3 : Int. BuzzFeed Office – Later

Kevin stands in a nearby hallway. A sad look on his face. He hands over a yellow BuzzFeed “LOL” icon to a person with a BuzzFeed logo for a face. The literal personification of the company, if you will.

Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later

Later, at home, Kevin lies on his side on his couch. Under a blanket, he stares off into the distance. Over him, on the top edge of the couch, his bird perches, extending a wing in an awkward, concerned gesture.

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV

Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV

Strip Info

Title
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV
Date
March 19, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

Kevin sits at a little table. On the table sits a small lamp with a red shade and a sign that reads “Lamp: $5. Still works! Red shade. 18″ tall.” Craigslist Guy steps up to the table.

Craigslist Guy
Hey. I’ll buy your lamp.
Kevin
Great! Can you take it today?
Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy answers.

Craigslist Guy
Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my mom’s-“
Kevin (interrupting)
Oh no no! No need to tell me your life story…
Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Wider to reveal several people standing behind Craigslist Guy.

Kevin
Other folks are interested too. So just tell me if you can take it today.
Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Craigslist Guy launches into a big block of backstory.

Craigslist Guy
Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my Mom’s car because I don’t want to carry it home on the bus because the bus driver is a jerk who wouldn’t let me bring my lunch on the bus because one time I spilled but it wasn’t even my fault because he went around a corner too fast so my soup spilled out of my thermos which I guess I should have closed tighter but hey…

Kevin deadpans to the camera.

Rage Against The Machine

Rage Against The Machine

Strip Info

Title
Rage Against The Machine
Date
January 22, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day
Caption: 20 years ago…

Past Kevin sits at his drafting table, drawing comics. Behind him, a time portal opens and a desperate Future Kevin leans out.

Future Kevin
Hey! I’m YOU from the future! Don’t post our artwork online!
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Future Kevin continues

Future Kevin
In the future, companies will train A.I. to mimic our style without our consent!
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Then, any talentless hack can make comics just like ours!

Past Kevin looks down skeptically at his work.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Past Kevin raises his eyebrows.

Past Kevin
…Like ours, but funny?
Future Kevin
IT’S INFURIATING!

Prime Grind Time

Prime Grind Time

Strip Info

Title
Prime Grind Time
Date
December 30, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day

Kevin sits as his desk, looking over at calendar hanging on the wall. The calendar reads “December.” All of the days are crossed off except for the last week.

Kevin
Ahh! The week between Christmas and New Year’s: when no one expects me to work…
Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous

A wider angle reveals The Grustle Monster standing behind Kevin, arms crossed.

Grustle Monster
EXCEPT ME.
Kevin
…Except my Grustle Monster.
Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous

The Grustle Monster looms over Kevin as he draws.

Grustle Monster
NO DAYS OFF, BRO. THIS IS PRIME GRIND TIME.
Kevin
…Which is why I feel compelled to draw a comic instead of relaxing.
Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous

The Grustle Monster continues.

Grustle Monster
YOU’LL THANK ME WHEN YOU’RE RICH.
Kevin
From comics? Do you even hear yourself?

The Bank Loan (Part 1)

The Bank Loan (Part 1)

Strip Info

Title
The Bank Loan (Part 1)
Date
November 6, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Day

Kevin sits at his desk, drawing. His bird, wearing a little collar and tie, walks up behind him.

Bird
I need a ride to the bank.
Kevin
Why?
Bird
Because I can’t drive.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous

Kevin looks confused.

Kevin
No- why do you need to go to the bank?
Bird
Because I have an interview for a business loan.
Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous

Same.

Kevin
Why do you have an interview for a business loan?
Bird
Because I don’t have the capital to start a business myself! Obviously!
Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous

Kevin turns around in his chair and smirks.

Kevin
So you’re saying you need seed money?
Bird
Forget it. I’ll take the bus.

The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy

The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy

Strip Info

Title
The Dedicated Practice of a Future Prodigy
Date
September 11, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

The Grustle Monster sits, arms folded, next to Kevin, gaming, on the couch.

Grustle Monster
GAMING IS A WASTE OF TIME.
Kevin
-Sigh- C’mon, man. Please just let me relax.
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The Grustle Monster continues.

Grustle Monster
RELAXING DOESN’T GET YOU CLOSER TO YOUR GOALS.
Kevin
Fine. What if my goal is to become an esports pro?
Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin continues.

Kevin
Suddenly, this isn’t wasted time, but the dedicated practice of a future prodigy.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The Grustle Monster retorts.

Grustle Monster
YOU’VE BEEN STUCK ON THE TUTORIAL LEVEL FOR WEEKS!
Kevin
IT’S HARD!

How To Motivate Your Co-Workers

How To Motivate Your Co-Workers

Strip Info

Title
How To Motivate Your Co-Workers
Date
March 21, 2021
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day

Kevin stands next to a Bossman in front of a group of office workers.

Bossman
Remember: Failure is not an option.
Kevin
Yes, but failure is the best teacher.
Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous

The Bossman looks over as Kevin continues.

Kevin
So if you want to succeed at learning, consider failing.
Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous

The Bossman whispers to Kevin.

Bossman
What are you doing? We’re supposed to motivate them.
Kevin
I am!
Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous

Something dawns on the Bossman

Bossman
Wait- do you even work here?
Kevin
(arms up)
Naps for everyone!

Tote Bags

Tote Bags

Strip Info

Title
Tote Bags
Date
August 14, 2020
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day

Kevin holds a reusable tote bag filled with groceries. A logo printed on the bag reads “NPR.” A green ring-necked parrot sits on a perch behind him.

Bird
Wait, Kevin- haven’t you heard? Tote bags are bad for the environment.
Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous

The parrot is now on Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin looks incredulous.

Kevin
What? How?
Bird
Reusable cotton totes take more energy to create than plastic bags.
Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin looks down at his tote bag as the parrot continues.

Bird
Each new tote has to be reused 20,000 times to break even.
Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin raises his eyebrows.

Kevin
But… how will people know I support NPR?
Panel 5 : Int. Home – Continuous

The parrot leans in.

Bird
Kevin, you’re a white, middle-aged liberal… we know.

Kevin deadpans to camera.