Comics Tagged : dumb things people do
Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
Strip Info
- Title
- Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
- Date
- July 10, 2022
- Tags
- awkward, Debbie Gibson, dumb things people do, Dustin, Kevin, Lucas, music, Netflix, pop culture, Stranger Things, TV, Vecna, white people
- Notes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Hawkins Graveyard – Day
-
An Overhead shot of Kevin, floating several feet in mid-air. Wearing headphones, his eyes roll back in a dumbfounded expression. On the ground, Dustin and Lucas from Stranger Things freak out.
-
- Dustin
- Oh no! Kevin’s under Vecna’s curse!
- Lucas
- Quick! Play his favorite song!
- Panel 2 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Kevin is bound up by tentacles in Vecna’s Lair. Everything has a red tint. Vecna stands opposite him, poised with his claw hand. Yet they both pause to and look skyward as a song begin playing.
-
- Singer
- Shake your love! I just can’t shake your love! Shake your love! I just can’t shake… your love!
- Panel 3 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Embarrassed, Kevin blushes and grins. Vecna lowers his claw. A look of disbelief and judgement on his face.
-
- Vecna
- Debbie Gibson?
- Kevin
- Please don’t tell anyone.
The Procrastination Game
Strip Info
- Title
- The Procrastination Game
- Date
- May 8, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, couch, creativity, dumb things people do, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, videogames
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.
-
- Kevin
- Ugh. This game sucks.
- Bird
- Then why not play a game you like?
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin replies.
-
- Kevin
- Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
- Kevin
- Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird looks concerned.
-
- Bird
- Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
- Kevin
- My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”
What’s In Your Wallet?
Strip Info
- Title
- What’s In Your Wallet?
- Date
- April 3, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, Bitcoin, crypto, dumb things people do, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, scams, social interactions, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin and his orc guide walk through a Metaverse landscape.
-
- Kevin
- So how do I get a sweet metaverse avatar like yours?
- Orc
- You have to pay for it.
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Still walking.
-
- Kevin
- With real money?
- Orc
- With crypto!
- Kevin
- So… not real money?
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc stops. Kevin stands behind him
-
- Orc
- Kinda. It’a a digital curency. Here: let’s set up a wallet for you.
-
The orc reaches towards a glowing Bitcoin wallet icon.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
In the real world, Kevin stands in his living room, looking confused in a VR headset. His bird perches on his arm.
-
- Bird
- How’s it going in there?
- Kevin
- I think I’m about to get swindled.
Welcome to The Metaverse!
Strip Info
- Title
- Welcome to The Metaverse!
- Date
- March 27, 2022
- Tags
- dumb things people do, Facebook, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, salmon shirts, social interactions, social media, technology
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin stands in a digital void next to a giant orc.
-
- Orc
- Welcome to The Metaverse! Here, you can be anyone you want!
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
-
- Orc
- Look at me! I’m an accountant irl. But here, I’m an orc warrior! No judgement!
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
-
- Orc
- Go ahead! Be who you’ve always wanted to be!
-
Kevin closes his eyes and starts to glow.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Kevin’s shirt changes from black to light pink. “Plip!” He smiles.
- Panel 5 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc looks on, skeptically.
-
- Orc
- Yeeeah… Salmon’s not your color.
-
Kevin deflates.
The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
Strip Info
- Title
- The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
- Date
- August 22, 2021
- Tags
- blacksmith, castle, climate change, dumb things people do, forest fires, King, politics, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle – Day
-
The Tale of Climate Policy
-
A medieval King stands on the wall of his castle, looking over the nearby village. An aide stands next to him, gesturing at the burning forest beyond.
-
- Aide
- Your Highness, the forest beyond the village is aflame again!
- King
- Hmmm. What seems to be the cause?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The King listens, stroking his beard and pondering.
-
- Aide
- We believe it to be the sparks from the Blacksmith’s shop.
- King
- Then I shall speak to the Blacksmith!
- Panel 3 : Int. Blacksmith’s Shop – Later
-
The King stands opposite the Blacksmith in his shop. The Blacksmith is twice the size of the King and twice as mean-looking. A nearby kiln showers sparks everywhere.
-
- King
- Fair Blacksmith! Could you please produce less sparks from your shop?
- Blacksmith
- No.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Castle – Later
-
The King stands atop his castle wall, addressing the villagers below. Behind him, a great plume of smoke and embers rises.
-
- King
- I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN TO STOP THE FOREST FIRES!
Jenga For Beginners
Strip Info
- Title
- Jenga For Beginners
- Date
- August 15, 2021
- Tags
- board games, dumb things people do, guest writer, jenga, single panel
- Notes
-
This comics was written by the criminally funny Opus Moreschi
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
A man stands hunched over a table, hand to his forehead, biting his lip in nervousness. On either side of him, his friends gather, shouting with anticipation. On the table in front of them is a single, rectangular block of wood, standing on it’s end like a tower. A very stable tower. The nervous man raises his hand to touch it. To the side, a box lies open with the label “Jenga For Beginners.”
The Kingdom That Almost Won
Strip Info
- Title
- The Kingdom That Almost Won
- Date
- August 1, 2021
- Tags
- bedtime story, COVID, dragon, dumb things people do, knight, medieval, misinformation, pandemic, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
- Notes
-
This comic went crazy viral (go figure). Here’s my Twitter thread examining the spread.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kingdumb – Day
-
A medieval knight points at a giant dragon lying on its back in a destroyed village. The knight beckons to nearby villagers.
-
- Knight
- Look! The dragon is almost slain! Let us arm ourselves and end its reign of terror!
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The nearby villagers look at their armor with skepticism.
-
- Villager 1
- Wait- What’s this armor made of?
- Villager 2
- The court jester says it makes you magnetic…
-
A third villager wears a helmet with visor hanging under his chin.
-
- Villager 3
- I can’t breathe in this helmet!
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The knight looks on in despair as the villagers continue.
-
- Villager 1
- Don’t push your pro-armor agenda on us!
- Villager 2
- The dragon hasn’t eaten anyone -I- know.
- Villager 3
- We should let the dragon eat us until it gets full.
-
Meanwhile, the dragon looms over the knight.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Night
-
In a modern-day child’s bedroom, a little boy in bed furrows his brow.
-
- Little Boy
- I don’t like this story. The people are dumb.
-
Sitting at the foot of his bed, his mother hunches over a storybook, head in hands.
-
- Mom
- -Sigh- I know.
The Cord Cutter’s Lament
Strip Info
- Title
- The Cord Cutter’s Lament
- Date
- May 9, 2021
- Tags
- Bird, cable, cord cutting, dumb things people do, Kevin, Netflix, streaming, TV
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin stands, looking at his credit card bill. His bird sits on his shoulder.
-
- Kevin
- Man! All these streaming services really add up!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
His bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- Hmm… if only there was a single service that gave you hundreds of channels for one price…
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Kevin starts to respond.
-
- Kevin
- …You mean like ca-
- Bird
(interrupting) - LIKE CABLE.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
His bird looks closer at his cable bill.
-
- Bird
- Also: You pay for Netflix? What a chump!
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
Look With Your Eyes
Strip Info
- Title
- Look With Your Eyes
- Date
- January 30, 2021
- Tags
- bffs, dumb things people do, Egg & Toast, men and women, relatable, relationships, wholesome
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Toast stands in front of an open closet. Egg sits at the table across the room, working on a laptop.
-
- Toast
- Where are the light bulbs?
- Egg
- Middle shelf.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Toast looks confused.
-
- Toast
- Where? I don’t see them.
- Egg
(stops working) - Next to the towels.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Toast doesn’t see them.
-
- Toast
- Where?
- Egg
- -Sigh-
Egg stands up and begins to walk across the room.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Just as Egg reaches Toast…
-
- Toast
- Oh! There they are!
-
Toast reaches for them. Egg just glowers at Toast.
Opening Up
Strip Info
- Title
- Opening Up
- Date
- July 16, 2020
- Tags
- Becky, castle, controversy, COVID, crowd, dumb things people do, emergency, King, life or death situation, lockdown, Murder Fog, politics, quarantine, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
- Notes
-
This is probably my most political comic to date. It blew up on Reddit. I think it even made it to the front page. People used the comments as a place to debate COVID-19 lockdown re-opening. The debate got so heated that the moderators of r/funny actually took it down.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle Courtyard – Day
-
A King addresses a crowd of his subjects from the top of a high wall.
-
- King
- My loyal subjects.. I’ve decided to reopen the castle!
- Panel 2 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Continuous
-
From the crowd below, a lowly subject speaks up. Behind him is the main gate of the castle. On the other side of that, a green fog can be seen lingering right over the wall.
-
- Subject
- But Your Majesty! The Murder Fog is right outside the gates! We’ll be killed!
- Panel 3 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Time
-
The king motions to a group of three younger people to his left. They look insufferable. Like mideval hipsters.
-
- King
- I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have no choice… Beck and her friends MUST BRUNCH!
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III
- Date
- January 22, 2020
- Tags
- Craigslist, Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, lamp, social interactions
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” A sign next to it says “Lamp $5 / Still works! / Red shade / 18″ Tall”. Craigslist Guy stands very far away.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey! Is your lamp still available?
- Kevin
- Yup! It’s free!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy is happy.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Great! I’ll take it!
- Kevin
- Great!
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy doesn’t move.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Finally, Craigslist Guy breaks the silence.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Can you bring it to me?
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
If I Was On “Hot Ones”
Strip Info
- Title
- If I Was On “Hot Ones”
- Date
- January 8, 2020
- Tags
- dumb things people do, food, funny faces, Hot Ones, Kevin, life or death situation, pop culture, Sean Evans, white people, YouTube
- Notes
-
Sean Evans liked this on Instagram.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Day
-
Close up on Kevin sitting at the Hot Ones table. His eyes pop out and his mouth pickers.
- Panel 2 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Still close up. Kevin opens his mouth. Fire bursts out. His eyes pour water.
- Panel 3 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Still close up. Kevin hunches over. Crying in pain. Tears streaming from his face.
- Panel 4 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Now wider. We see Sean Evens sitting across from Kevin. A confused look on his face.
-
- Sean Evans
- Um… We haven’t started yet.
- Kevin
- I’m out!