Kevin Comics • Comics by Kevin McShane

Every. Job. Site.

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Every. Job. Site.
Date: February 13, 2024
Tags: capitialism, desk, glasses, job hunt, Kevin, LinkedIn, moustache, office, resume, technology, The Internet, website

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day

A website—personified with glasses, a moustache, and arms and hands—sits in a chair at a desk. Across its forehead is written EVERY JOB SITE. It beckons to someone off-camera.

Website: Just give me your resumé and I’ll auto-populate our application for you!

Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous

Wide shot revealing Kevin sitting on the other side of the desk. Wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and red tie, he hands his resume to the website.

Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous

The website adjusts its glasses, looking at Kevin’s resume.

Website: Ah! I see your last job was “Resumé” with a start date of “Baltimore” and an end date of “Microsoft Word”

Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous

Reverse on Kevin. He frowns and beckons the website to give him his paper back.

Kevin: -Sigh- Just let me do it.

Panel 5 : Int. Office – Moments Later

Kevin and the website still sitting at the desk.

Website: Isn’t this a Dilbert comic?
Kevin: No. I’m not a racist.

Just Trying To Make A Living

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Just Trying To Make A Living
Date: December 4, 2023
Tags: algorithms, art, bonus panel, capitalism, commerce, creativity, creator economy, Kevin, Patreon, robots, social media, technology, You
Notes: Don’t tell Instagram, but I’ve started a Patreon. Patreon, if you don’t know, is a membership site where you can get access to exclusive bonus material from me for a small monthly fee. Tiers start at $2 a month and come with a bunch of cool stuff: including bonus comics; old, embarrassing comics from my archive; and a monthly, invite-only “Draw With Me” livestream. Join me!

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

A cartoon version of You, with all your wit, charm, and good looks, walks up to Kevin and waves.

You: Hi, Kevin! I really like your comics and cartoons!
Kevin: Gee thanks!

Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin motions to a nearby door. It’s a frosted glass door with a sign over it. Cut off by the panel border, the sign reads only “Patre”. Beyond the frosted glass door, we can kinda make out baloons and some type of flashy lighting. Looks like a real party.

Kevin: You know, I have some great bonus stuff over here if you’re interested.

Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

You smile that winning smile everyone loves.

You: Oh cool! You’ve got a Patre-

Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

From off-screen, Kevin interrupts you by shoving his hand in your face. His finger presses your lips, quieting you.

Kevin: Shhhh!

Panel 5 : Int. Void – Continuous

Kevin comes in close next to you, pressing his cheek into yours.

Kevin (whispering): The Algorithm will hear you!

Bonus : Int. Void – Moments Later

The Algorithm, a towering, angry robot, appears behind You and Kevin. It extends its arms out in a menacing way. You and Kevin shrink in fear.

The Algorithm: Outside Link Detected!!
Kevin: Run!

A Very Accurate Halloween Costume

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: A Very Accurate Halloween Costume
Date: October 30, 2023
Tags: Bird, bird costume, Cintiq, desk, Halloween, Halloween costume, jack-o-lantern, Kevin, pumpkin, table

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin sits at his desk, drawing on his Cintiq. Behind him, his bird stands on a pumpkin on a table. His bird is wearing a little black t-shirt, blue pants, and a sandy blonde wig, just like Kevin.

Bird: Look! I dressed up as you for Halloween!
Kevin: Oh god…

Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s bird furrows his brow.

Bird (mocking): “Hi. I’m Kevin. I’m a little bit grumpy all the time…”
Kevin: Please stop.

Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird continues:

Bird (mocking): “…I’d sure be a lot happier if I didn’t tie my self-worth to my productivity…”
Kevin (rolling eyes): Yeah yeah. Very funny.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin’s bird starts to walk away.

Bird (mocking): “Whelp! Off to make a comic with a mediocre punchline!”

Kevin swivels around in his chair.

Kevin: Oh fuck off!

Bonus Panel : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Later

Later, Kevin’s bird stands in front of an iPad, drawing something. He turns around to see Kevin standing behind him, wearing an ill-fitting green parrot suit — just like him.

Bird: Am I supposed to be offended? You look great!

The Tetris Effect

Strip Info

Title: The Tetris Effect
Date: October 16, 2023
Tags: anxiety, Bird, couch, Kevin, mental health, self care, Switch, Tetris, video games, wholesome

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin slouches on his couch, bags under his eyes, playing his Switch. Next to him, an empty bag of Doritos and a few empty beer bottles. His bird, perched above him, leans in.

Bird: Umm… are you okay?
Kevin: I read that playing Tetris helps distract your brain from anxious thoughts.

Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks concerned.

Bird: You’ve been playing for the last nine hours straight.
Kevin: Have you seen the news lately?

Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

His bird looks off into the distance, thinking, as Kevin goes back to his game.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin continues playing, his bird nestled under his arm. The bird lays its head on Kevin’s chest, watching him play.

The Best Streaming Service

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: The Best Streaming Service
Date: October 2, 2023
Tags: Bird, bonus panel, cars, film, Gas Station TV, gasoline, jacks, Kevin, Martin Scorsese, movies, pop culture, relatable, streaming

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin walks through the front door of his apartment at night, taking off his jacket. His bird sits on a nearby table, playing jacks. The bird looks up at Kevin.

Bird: Hey! Where have you been?
Kevin: At the gas station, filling up my car.

Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin hangs up his jacket as his bird looks at him skeptically.

Bird: For three hours?
Kevin: Yeah. There was this amazing movie on Gas Station TV.

Panel 3 : Ext. Gas Station – Earlier

Kevin stands at the pump, staring at the tiny gas station TV, holding back tears. He holds the pump handle in his hand. The gas cap on his car is open. He hasn’t even started pumping gas yet. The sun is setting. A line of cars behind him HONK incessantly at him.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin shrugs.

Kevin: Scorsese? At the Exxon?!
Bird: These streaming wars are getting out of hand.

Panel 5 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

An attendant approaches Kevin at the pump.

Attendant: Sir? Are you crying?
Kevin (clearly crying): No! It’s the gas fumes! Shut up!

Forced Career Change

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Forced Career Change
Date: September 25, 2023
Tags: bonus panel, creativity, Instagram, Kevin, relatable, social media, video

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day

An Instagram icon with arms and legs stands on a table. Kevin stands in front of it, presenting a comic.

Kevin: I’m a cartoonist! I make comics!

Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram snatches the comic from Kevin’s hands. Kevin looks surprised.

Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram rips up Kevin’s comic as Kevin’s eyes bug out.

Instagram: Now you make videos.

Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Instagram insists.

Instagram: Say it.
Kevin (defeated): Now I make videos.

Enhance!

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Enhance!
Date: September 11, 2023
Tags: AI art, AI training, anime, awkward, bonus panel, crime, entertainment, police, Stable Diffusion, TV, waifu, weird things people do

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Squad Room – Day

A tech sits in front of a monitor and keyboard. A police sergeant leans over his sholder.

Tech: Sergeant! We have security camera footage from the crime scene!
Sergeant: Show me.

Panel 2 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

Close on the monitor: grainy footage of a parking garage. The sergeant points at a small, dark silhouette of a figure walking.

Sergeant: There’s our perp. Enhance!

Panel 3 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage zooms in 200% on the silhouette. Not much more detail.

Sergeant: Enhance again!

Panel 4 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage zooms in to 400%. A little contrast in the figure, but still not enough.

Sergeant: Enhance using generative A.I.!

Panel 5 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage transforms into a purple-haired anime waifu with… a rather large chest. She winks and throws up the “peace” sign.

Panel 6 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

Back to the tech and the sergeant.

Sergeant: Nice.

Full Disclosure

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Full Disclosure
Date: August 27, 2023
Tags: Batman, Batman In Therapy, bonus panel, Catwoman, couples, Gotham City, masculinity, mental health, movies, Poison Ivy, pop culture, self care, Therapist, therapy, toxic masculinity

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City – Day

Catwoman straddles a prone Batman. With a sly smile, she traces her finger across the bat-symbol on his chest.

Catwoman: So tell me… what’s the Big Bad Bat really afraid of?

Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City – Continuous

A close-up on Batman. He looks… sad?

Batman: Honestly? I’m afraid that, if I fully process my childhood trauma and grief… I’ll lose my motivation to fight crime.

Panel 3 : Ext. Gotham City – Continuous

A close-up on Catwoman. She looks away in discomfort as Batman continues.

Batman: …And since crime-fighting is such a big part of my identity, I’m afraid losing it will change how I define my masculinity.

Panel 4 : Int. Catwoman’s Hideout – Later

Catwoman sits on the couch of her hideout, looking out the window, concerned. Behind her, Poison Ivy leans over to gossip.

Poison Ivy: Sooo… how’s it going with Batman?
Catwoman: Honestly, it’s been a bit heavy since he started going to therapy…

Bonus Panel : Int. Therapist Office – Later

In full costume, Batman lies on the couch of his therapist’s office. Behind him, in a plush chair, his kindly therapist takes notes.

Therapist: …And how is commmunication with the woman you’re seeing?
Batman: Good! I think she likes me!

Stop Asking

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Stop Asking
Date: August 13, 2023
Tags: awkward, beer, bonus panel, creativity, cups, dumb things people do, frat guy, Kevin, party, social interactions

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Party – Day

At a party, a drunk frat guy walks up to Kevin.

Frat Guy: Hey! Cartoon Boy! Put me in one of your comics!
Kevin: Sorry, but no…

Panel 2 : Int. Party – Continuous

The frat guy presses.

Frat Guy: C’mon! I bet I’m funnier than your dumb characters.
Kevin: Oh, I’m sure you are.

Panel 3 : Int. Party – Continuous

Fed up, Kevin explains.

Kevin: Look, no offense, but stop asking cartoonists to be in their comics. It’s just not going to happen, okay?

Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous

Zoom out to Kevin, sitting at his desk, drawing the comic we’ve just been reading. He lifts his pen from his monitor.

Kevin (realizing): Wait. (beat) Shit.

Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Bonus Panel

Strip Info

Title: Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Date: August 6, 2023
Tags: awkward, Bird, bonus panel, couch, Future Kevin, Kevin, movies, Past Kevin, pop culture, self care, social interactions, The Future, time travel, TV

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Day

Teenage Kevin looks surprised when Future Kevin appears out of a wormhole behind him.

In the year 1993…

Future Kevin: Hey Kevin! I’m YOU from the future! I’ve got great news!

Panel 2 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin: Thirty years from now, they’re going to make a great TMNT movie!
Teenage Kevin (O.S.): Big deal. We’ve already had three TMNT movies.

Future Kevin holds up a poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes: Mutant Mayhem.

Panel 3 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin: Yeah, but this one will have a score by Trent Reznor!
Teenage Kevin (dismissive): ~OK cool~ Thanks for letting me know. Bye!

Teenage Kevin waves his future self away.

Panel 4 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin shrugs.

Future Kevin: I thought you’d be excited! What are you do–
Teenage Kevin (interrupting): JUST GO!

We now can see that Teenage Kevin, hunched over, has hastily thrown a blanket over his groin.

Bonus Panel : Int. Future Kevin’s House – Later

Back in the future, Future Kevin stands in his living room, shivering in disgust. Nearby, his bird scoffs.

Bird: It’s your fault. You gotta knock, remember?