Comics in Category : Movies and TV

The Best Streaming Service

The Best Streaming Service
Bonus Panel
The Best Streaming Service

Strip Info

Title
The Best Streaming Service
Date
October 2, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Day

Kevin walks through the front door of his apartment at night, taking off his jacket. His bird sits on a nearby table, playing jacks. The bird looks up at Kevin.

Bird
Hey! Where have you been?
Kevin
At the gas station, filling up my car.
Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin hangs up his jacket as his bird looks at him skeptically.

Bird
For three hours?
Kevin
Yeah. There was this amazing movie on Gas Station TV.
Panel 3 : Ext. Gas Station – Earlier

Kevin stands at the pump, staring at the tiny gas station TV, holding back tears. He holds the pump handle in his hand. The gas cap on his car is open. He hasn’t even started pumping gas yet. The sun is setting. A line of cars behind him HONK incessantly at him.

Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

Kevin shrugs.

Kevin
Scorsese? At the Exxon?!
Bird
These streaming wars are getting out of hand.
Panel 5 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous

An attendant approaches Kevin at the pump.

Attendant
Sir? Are you crying?
Kevin (clearly crying)
No! It’s the gas fumes! Shut up!

Enhance!

Enhance!
Bonus Panel
Enhance!

Strip Info

Title
Enhance!
Date
September 11, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Squad Room – Day

A tech sits in front of a monitor and keyboard. A police sergeant leans over his sholder.

Tech
Sergeant! We have security camera footage from the crime scene!
Sergeant
Show me.
Panel 2 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

Close on the monitor: grainy footage of a parking garage. The sergeant points at a small, dark silhouette of a figure walking.

Sergeant
There’s our perp. Enhance!
Panel 3 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage zooms in 200% on the silhouette. Not much more detail.

Sergeant
Enhance again!
Panel 4 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage zooms in to 400%. A little contrast in the figure, but still not enough.

Sergeant
Enhance using generative A.I.!
Panel 5 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

The footage transforms into a purple-haired anime waifu with… a rather large chest. She winks and throws up the “peace” sign.

Panel 6 : Int. Police Squad Room – Continuous

Back to the tech and the sergeant.

Sergeant
Nice.

Full Disclosure

Full Disclosure
Bonus Panel
Full Disclosure

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City – Day

Catwoman straddles a prone Batman. With a sly smile, she traces her finger across the bat-symbol on his chest.

Catwoman
So tell me… what’s the Big Bad Bat really afraid of?
Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City – Continuous

A close-up on Batman. He looks… sad?

Batman
Honestly? I’m afraid that, if I fully process my childhood trauma and grief… I’ll lose my motivation to fight crime.
Panel 3 : Ext. Gotham City – Continuous

A close-up on Catwoman. She looks away in discomfort as Batman continues.

Batman
…And since crime-fighting is such a big part of my identity, I’m afraid losing it will change how I define my masculinity.
Panel 4 : Int. Catwoman’s Hideout – Later

Catwoman sits on the couch of her hideout, looking out the window, concerned. Behind her, Poison Ivy leans over to gossip.

Poison Ivy
Sooo… how’s it going with Batman?
Catwoman
Honestly, it’s been a bit heavy since he started going to therapy…
Bonus Panel : Int. Therapist Office – Later

In full costume, Batman lies on the couch of his therapist’s office. Behind him, in a plush chair, his kindly therapist takes notes.

Therapist
…And how is commmunication with the woman you’re seeing?
Batman
Good! I think she likes me!

Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Bonus Panel
Every GenX Kid’s Dream

Strip Info

Title
Every GenX Kid’s Dream
Date
August 6, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Day

Teenage Kevin looks surprised when Future Kevin appears out of a wormhole behind him.

In the year 1993…
Future Kevin
Hey Kevin! I’m YOU from the future! I’ve got great news!
Panel 2 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Thirty years from now, they’re going to make a great TMNT movie!
Teenage Kevin (O.S.)
Big deal. We’ve already had three TMNT movies.

Future Kevin holds up a poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes: Mutant Mayhem.

Panel 3 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin continues.

Future Kevin
Yeah, but this one will have a score by Trent Reznor!
Teenage Kevin (dismissive)
~OK cool~ Thanks for letting me know. Bye!

Teenage Kevin waves his future self away.

Panel 4 : Int. Teenage Kevin’s Room – Continuous

Future Kevin shrugs.

Future Kevin
I thought you’d be excited! What are you do–
Teenage Kevin (interrupting)
JUST GO!

We now can see that Teenage Kevin, hunched over, has hastily thrown a blanket over his groin.

Bonus Panel : Int. Future Kevin’s House – Later

Back in the future, Future Kevin stands in his living room, shivering in disgust. Nearby, his bird scoffs.

Bird
It’s your fault. You gotta knock, remember?

The Future of Entertainment

The Future of Entertainment

Strip Info

Title
The Future of Entertainment
Date
June 18, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. VR Headset – Day

From a user’s POV inside a VR headset, a cute robot character floats into view.

Genie
Hi! I’m Genie, your A.I.-powered entertainment bot! What do you want to watch today?
User (O.S.)
I wanna watch a movie where Spider-Man fights Batman at Wrestlemania!
Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The user sits in his recliner, a beer in his hand

Genie (O.S.)
Sorry. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
User
Why not? I thought A.I. can create whatever I want.
Panel 3 : Int. VR Headset – Continuous

In the headset, Genie explains.

Genie
Well, see… Spider-Man is owned by Disney, Batman is owned by Warner Bros, and Wrestlemania is WWE. To combine them legally, I would need a licensing agreement between all three companies that allows for… (trailing off)
Panel 4 : Ext. Street – Later

Later, on the side of the road, two sanitation workers empty trash cans into a garbage truck. One worker holds up something he fished out of a can.

Sanitation Worker
Hey look! Another pair a’them expensive goggles!

Grandpa’s Making Up Words Again

Grandpa’s Making Up Words Again
Bonus Panel
Grandpa’s Making Up Words Again

Strip Info

Title
Grandpa’s Making Up Words Again
Date
May 28, 2023
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Retirement Home – Day

A young boy sits at his grandpa’s feet.

Young Boy
Grandpa? What were the Streaming Wars like?
Panel 2 : Int. Retirement Home – Continuous

Grandpa sits in his easy chair.

Grandpa
Well, it all started when Netflix tried to launch Qwikster. Then HBO became HBO Go…
Panel 3 : Int. Retirement Home – Continuous

Grandpa continues.

Grandpa
…See, back then, we got our HBO Go through Hulu on our Roku, but then HBO Go became HBO Max…
Panel 4 : Int. Retirement Home – Continuous

The little boy looks confused as Grandpa finishes.

Grandpa
…And after Roku bought all the shows from Quibi, HBO Max became just Max.
Panel 5 : Ext. Retirement Home – Later

The young boy’s Mom leads him to their car.

Mom
How was your visit with Grandpa?
Young Boy
Confusing.

In the background, Grandpa waves from the porch of his retirement home.

Work Friends

Work Friends
Bonus Panel
Work Friends

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City PD Roof – Night

Commissioner Gordon and Batman stand on the roof of the GCPD headquarters at night near the bat symbol.

Commissioner Gordon
Thanks for helping us catch The Riddler, Batman. Gotham owes you a great debt.
Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City PD Roof – Continuous

Gordon and Batman stand facing each other for an awkward beat.

Panel 3 : Ext. Gotham City PD Roof – Continuous

Batman blurts out.

Batman
…Wanna hang out after work?
Panel 4 : Int. Psychiatrist’s Office – Later

Batman lays on a couch. Behind him in a chair, his therapist takes notes.

Therapist
…And how are we doing with forming male friendships?
Batman
I’m so awkward!
Panel 5 : Int. All-Nite Diner – Later

Batman and Gordon sit stiffly in a booth of an all-night diner. Each has a strawberry milkshake in front of them.

Batman
How’s your milkshake?
Commissioner Gordon
– I should get home to my family…

80s Halloween Costumes

80s Halloween Costumes

Strip Info

Title
80s Halloween Costumes
Date
October 30, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Suburban Home – Night

A young Kevin, dressed in a cheap E.T. Halloween costume, stands in a neighbor’s doorway. He holds up an orange plastic jack-o-lantern tub for candy.

“As an 80s kid, my Halloween costumes were kinda weak.”
Panel 2 : Int. Suburban Home – Night

Same setup a year later. Kevin now wears a cheap costume of Gizmo from Gremlins.

“Store-bought costumes were usually just a flimsy mask and a picture of the character on a thin plastic smock.”
Panel 3 : Int. Suburban Home – Night

Same setup a year later. Kevin now wears a cheap costume of He-Man.

“But as crappy as they were, I wish that style of costume was still around today…”
Panel 4 : Int. Suburban Home – Night

Same setup, present day.

“…So I could dress up as my current favorite character:”

An adult Kevin stands in the doorway, wearing a cheap George Clooney mask and plastic smock with the actor’s photo on it and the logo of the movie Michael Clayton.

Why I’m Not On Stranger Things

Why I’m Not On Stranger Things

Strip Info

Title
Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
Date
July 10, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Kate Bush it is not

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Hawkins Graveyard – Day

An Overhead shot of Kevin, floating several feet in mid-air. Wearing headphones, his eyes roll back in a dumbfounded expression. On the ground, Dustin and Lucas from Stranger Things freak out.

Dustin
Oh no! Kevin’s under Vecna’s curse!
Lucas
Quick! Play his favorite song!
Panel 2 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous

Kevin is bound up by tentacles in Vecna’s Lair. Everything has a red tint. Vecna stands opposite him, poised with his claw hand. Yet they both pause to and look skyward as a song begin playing.

Singer
Shake your love! I just can’t shake your love! Shake your love! I just can’t shake… your love!
Panel 3 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous

Embarrassed, Kevin blushes and grins. Vecna lowers his claw. A look of disbelief and judgement on his face.

Vecna
Debbie Gibson?
Kevin
Please don’t tell anyone.

Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together

Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together

Strip Info

Title
Two Great Tastes That Go Great Together
Date
May 22, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Television Studio – Day

A game show contestant stands at a podium, cheering with excitement. His nametag reads “Mark.” Next to him stands Drew Carey, who speaks into his signature skinny microphone.

Drew Carey
Actual retail price is twenty-two thousand dollars…
Panel 2 : Int. Television Studio – Continuous

In the adjacent showroom, a spokesmodel stands smiling next to a large powerboat on a trailer.

Drew Carey (O.S.)
…which means Mark will take home this brand new boat…
Panel 3 : Int. Television Studio – Continous

Closer on the boat and spokesmodel, who now holds a large kitchen knife to the bow of the boat.

Drew Carey (O.S.)
…if he can correctly guess IS IT CAKE?
Panel 4 : Int. Studio Executive’s Office – Continous

An executive sits opposite Kevin.

Executive
This is the dumbest pitch I’ve ever heard.

Kevin leans in.

Kevin
Or the greatest?

Next to Kevin is a poster on an easel that reads, “The Price is Cake!”

The Sensible Detective

The Sensible Detective

Strip Info

Title
The Sensible Detective
Date
April 17, 2022
Tags
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Notes

Fun fact: this is actually a redraw of a comic I first drew over 10 years ago. The original was part of an earlier version of my comics website called Funny Comics For Cool People. I produced about a dozen comics for it, but never actually launched the site. I always liked this idea, though. So I thought I’d take another swing at it.

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Police Station – Day

A grizzled cop sips from a mug. Scowling.

Caption
Tuesdays at 8! He’s a homicide cop with no major vices…
Cop
Got drunk once. Didn’t enjoy it.
Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous

The cop and wife give piggybacks to each of their two kids. Everyone smiles except the cop.

Caption
…no personal trauma…
Cop
All loved ones alive and well.
Panel 3 : Ext. Street – Night

The cop kneels at a crime scene near a corpse, covered in a bloody sheet. The cop looks at his watch.

Caption
…And healthy professional boundaries. He’s The Sensible Detective.
Cop
5p.m.- Quittin’ time.
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. They both furrow their brows.

Kevin
Well that’s no fun.
Bird
I prefer my protagonists damaged.

Kustody Kitchen!

Kustody Kitchen!

Strip Info

Title
Kustody Kitchen!
Date
March 20, 2022
Tags
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Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. TV Studio – Day

Two parents stare each other down, holding up plates of pasta.

Caption
Thursday at 8! Two newly-divorced parents face off to see who can make the most delicious meal…
Panel 2 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous

A smiling boy, wearing a blindfold, tries the pasta as the parents look on.

Caption
…for the most important judges of all… their kids!
Panel 3 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous

The Mom stands smiling with her son. A winning ribbon pinned to her chest. In the background, security pulls the father away. The Dad reaches out and yells in desperation.

Caption
…and whoever loses, gives up visitation rights FOREVER! It’s Kustody Kitchen!
Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. His eyes wide in shock.

Kevin
Holy shit.
Bird
Right? I love this show.
Kevin and his bird peering out from behind an email app's icon

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